“Dude!!! Just had the most epic cup of coffee.”
“Totally just went to the mall and it was totally epic!”
“Watching re-runs of the Bachelor. EPIC!”
“Just killed a guy, it was so epic! You should try it.”
“Have you ever watched that one cat video on Youtube? So epic.”
“Just had the most epic masturbating session of my life.”
“My right leg is longer than my left leg…how epic!”
Those are just a few examples of how the word epic is being abused right now. Sexually abused, emotionally abused and physically abused. If the word epic was a person, it’d be Rihanna. Saying the word epic is one of the most dangerous trends of all time. It’s dangerous because now even old people think it is okay to say it! It has successfully accomplished what no other word has been able to accomplish: be hip and cool with young people and old people…at the same time!
Do you know how hard that is? My great aunt has just now started saying the word, ‘pimping.’ Bingo Halls all over America are pimping today, and that is completely fine! Because the younger generation has bounce passed that word to the older generation. But the younger generation still has not let the word epic go, it’s all over the damn place! It has even made its way to the local news. Just yesterday I heard a local news anchor say; “Hey, Pete. Can you tell us anything more about that epic storm we had yesterday?”
NO, NO, NO! It wasn’t an epic storm. It was a few raindrops falling on your freaking head. At best it was an inconvenience, but epic? I think not. This madness must be stopped. We must all come together and fight to end the abuse of the word epic.
World hunger? It can wait.
World peace? Who needs it?
Global warming? Go for a swim and stop bitching.