We want to put a legitimate question out there in the form of a mathematical equation: extreme hotness – (dumbness+ignorance+violence)=still bangable? If your answer is yes, then you need to be concerned (unless you’re a 45 year old virgin in which case your desire to have sex before you die is understood)…because we draw the line at psycho-bitches who want to gouge our eyes out and turn them into necklaces. 

Here’s what Megan Fox had to say according to OK! Magazine…oh, and if it’s ok with you, here’s a few pictures of her recent Rolling Stones photo shoot to make your decision as to whether you’d be willing to risk bodily harm for a night with Fox even more difficult:

“My temper is ridiculously bad. I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you.

“‘I’m going to stab you with something, please leave.’ ”
“I’d never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”
“Whenever I can be physical it helps me a lot with the actual acting aspect. I prefer it. “If I could just be either beating someone up or getting my a*s beaten in every scene I would love it. Sexy!”

Also check out this video of Megan first being ignored and then asked by comic Matt Zaller (who is a man apparently not in very good terms with his penis), to put a bag over her head so that his interview with her co-star could continue uninterrupted.

House-hunting superbabe Megan Fox was out on the prowl for a new mansion with her on-again-off-again 9021 lame-o Brian Austin Green (who must be nearing retirement age, right?). Also, someone please give her the memo that housing is cheap these days so she can stop skanking around in short shorts to get that ‘extra special’ deal from her realtor.

Looking for a place to crash for a couple nights? We still wouldn’t mind tossing Megan in the naughty dog house, just as long as she promises to leave her washed up beau outside.

It’s a wrap, folks. The L.A premiere of The Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen was the last promotion of the movie, and since that means there is a possibility Megan Fox will stay out of the press for a good week or two, we thought it would be a nice going-away gift if we presented her best moments of “Hotties say the darnest things”:

On her insecurities and fears:

 ’I think that I’m so psychotic and so mentally ill that if I could tap into that I could do something really interesting.’

“Before I go onstage anywhere, I take a Xanax now.”

‘I am pretty sure I am a doppelganger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.

‘I’m so painfully insecure. I’m on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed. I’m scared.’

On drugs:

‘I hope they legalise it and when they do I’ll be the first f***ing person in line to buy my pack of joints. ‘People look at it like it’s this crazy, hippy, f***ed-up thing to do. And it’s not. I hope they legalise it.’

On sex:

‘I really enjoy having sex, and that’s offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women slags, which is sad.
‘I haven’t met a lot of men who’ve said, “You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!” That’s because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them.’ 

On her sexuality:

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided _ oh man, sorry, mommy! _ that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” said Fox. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
“I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … oh boy.”

On the movie industry, acting and her own skills:

‘I’m terrible in it. It’s my first real movie and it’s not honest and not realistic…

‘I can’t shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.’

‘When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love.’Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross.’

“People don’t expect me to do anything that’s worth watching.” “I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this business. You’re merchandised, you’re a product. You’re sold and it’s based on sex. But that’s okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.”

On how she got into character for Jennifer’s body:“It’s not in the script but, in my head, my character was victimised by my dad, so I take it out on the boys in my high school.”

On other celebrities:

‘I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson, who I have nothing against, but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, “Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.”‘

‘I used to sit back and think, “Please, Britney Spears has the best life ever – she has everything she could ever want!” But she has one of the worst lives. Her life is a living fucking nightmare. I have panic attacks thinking about her life.’

“The other day I said I eat a lot of cake and that was the top story on Yahoo.”

“I happened to be such an outrageous personality that people wanted to start writing about me because it was deemed controversial.” “I think if I had been a typical Hollywood actress and I said all the right things and I had been a publicity android, it wouldn’t have escalated to this level.”

On her hygiene:

‘I’m horrible to live with. I don’t clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, “Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn’t flush.”‘

On her tattoos:

“I’m not kidding when I say that if I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco.”

‘I wouldn’t regret the tattoo if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.’

So to summarize, Megan Fox is a DILF (and the D stands for Dimwit)…and here’s further proof…she’s still with Brian Austin Green as these latest pictures of them getting coffee in L.A prove…

And since we’re on the dumb and dumber subject, also check out the other brainiac hotties that showed up for the premiere such as Kim Kardashian, Aubrey O’Day, Kendra Wilkinson and Kristin Kavallari.

Megan Fox does not lose many opportunities to show us her tongue…and this time it was during a stroll with Brian Austin Green yesterday afternoon (May 7) in Santa Monica on their way to Jinky’s Cafe. So was she making love to the camera, getting pissed off at the paparazzi, or showing us how she made up with Brian after Tuesday’s heated argument?

We’re guessing Brian Austin slept on the couch (or the bathroom floor?) after this argument with Megan Fox. The photographers who snapped the pictures reported that the two had a heated argument which resulted in Megan getting very upset…funny…Brian just doesn’t seem all that bothered…maybe because he knows what follows the day after is nasty make-up sex? We’re guessing the fight was over her hair (and its split personality issues…i’m brown, no i’m blond, no, i’m hazelnut).

We believe overall, the news are positive on this one. Think about it, with Adriana Lima we had digested her engagement news and we were sort of expecting it.After months of psychotherapy, we managed to convince ourselves that all good things must come to an end, so when she announced she got eloped on Valentine’s day in Jackson Hole, Wyoming with NBA fiance Marko Jaric we took it like men (although we were disappointed that when she wrote on her blog “I’m so happy inside and i want to spread my love” that didn’t translate to one last nude spread).

But, just when we were thinking that all hotties were taken by undeserving men, here comes Megan Fox to give us hope by splitting with 90210 drifter Brian Austin Green. And had we been more alert we would have realized it was coming after reading her GQ interview back in November when she said “IF it happens (meaning the wedding) it will be very low-key and quick and unplanned”.

Maybe Megan took our hearfelt (and loinfelt) advice to dump Brian (well, after seeing pictures of him letting her soak in the rain while he was keeping the umbrella for himself we literally burst into tears because of the unfairness of it all…here we were ready to clean the dirt under and inbetween her toenails with our tongue if she asked us to and the guy wouldn’t even shield her from the elements).

Either way, now she is up for grabs and although we would like to say, may the best man win, there is a chance that the best woman may win (well, we do know she is openly bisexual and in one of her recent red carpet appearances she did lust after Salma Hayek’s luscious boobs). That would be tragic…unless she invited us to watch…that would make our wounded pride heal a lot faster.

And speaking of Megan Fox, check her out at the Elle Magazine photoshoot.

One that will hold the umbrella for her when it rains instead of keeping it all to himself and letting her get soaked, that is. Alas chivalry is dead… and Brian Austin Green, who cares more about his own hair getting wet, wouldn’t know what a gentleman is even it hit him on the head with that umbrella.

Check out how Megan is running to catch up to him and get under the umbrella on their way to Zach’s Cafe for lunch. Bet Brian was served a cold one for the rest of the day…and he deserved it. Megan, if you need someone to hold your umbrella call us at 555-YR-SO-HOT (yes, we’re cheesy, but we’re willing to get wet for you).